正常被高估了。有时我们会忘记我们不必做其他人都在做什么。我们标记其他人正常的事情。我们认为我们应该是正常的。
我们认为当我们没有做正常的事情时，我们可能会出现问题，如果我们不是正常的人类，我们不会像人类的正常版本一样快乐或成功或爱。或者，我们认为其他人可能会认为我们不正常。这可能会感到可怕。
我试过正常。有时候我会倾向于我在汽车飞行员上。每当我这样做，我忘了我的心。我忘了我知道什么对我来说是最好的。我迷路了。通常我赶紧找到自己的方式，但有时我需要提醒。
如果你需要提醒人们知道你的心脏并正是你是谁比“正常”更重要 - 这是。
8“正常”的东西，你不必做的事情（因为正常被高估了）
1.当你想说否时说是的。
Saying yes while clenching your jaw and rolling your eyes is normal. Agreeing to do things you don’t want to do, aren’t interested in and that you don’t have time for is normal. It also builds tremendous resentment (which eats you up on the inside) and prevents you from doing things you actually want to do.
If you don’t want to do this normal thing anymore, here’s your way out. Say, “No thanks.” I know! That’s it. When your heart says no, you say no. If saying no is hard for you,这将有所帮助.
2.保存一切。
正常要做的就是拯救一切。只保存它以防万一。保存它，因为你付出了太多了。保存它，因为有人给了你。保存它，因为你的孩子可能想要它。保存它，因为它不伤害任何东西。
如果不是那种正常的方式，我们救了我们所崇拜的东西，以及真正为我们的生活增加价值的东西？当一切都很重要时，没有什么是如此，通过摆脱无关紧要的所有东西，我们将只剩下来。那么你如何通过所有在翅膀上等待的正常借口来安息？
如果你正在拯救它，因为......
- It was expensive:Saving something because you paid a lot of money for it will only ensure that you keep paying. You will pay with money, time, attention and emotion. Your stuff always needs more stuff. Cleaning, organizing, managing and thinking about your stuff takes time. You pay with emotion too, by holding onto the past, by punishing yourself for old habits. You pay with guilt, anger, and indecision. The answer is simple. Let it go. Let go of the item and all of the costs attached to it. You have paid enough.
- Someone gave it to you:If you received a gift from someone and you don’t want to keep it, you don’t have to. The gift part already happened with the intention in which it was given. Maybe it was congratulations, or get well, or Merry Christmas. You don’t have to hold on to the stuff to receive the gift. Moving forward, if you prefer not to receive the stuff part of gifts, have gentle conversations with people you love and ask them if you could give to each other differently. Suggest getting together for a meal, or donating to a charity you both support or gifting another experience, and skipping the stuff part of a beautiful gift altogether.
- 你的孩子可能想要它：该y don’t. And if you don’t believe me, ask them. If your adult children want your stuff or their childhood memorabilia, give them a pick-up deadline. It’s not your responsibility to save it for them. For your little ones, they won’t want to wear your clothes or use your furniture when they are grown. Save a few sentimental items for them if you’d like. Give it to them when they are old enough and let them decide if they want to hold on or let go. Love them like crazy either way.
- Because it’s not hurting anything:这是我最喜欢的理由拖延整理和放手。我意识到我想要更多。而不是这个并不伤害，它必须在立文中帮助。当你发现自己思考时，“这不伤害任何人/任何东西，”问道“是帮助任何人/什么？”
- 以防万一：该以防万一坚持的借口是一种凌乱的恐惧和拖延的结合。我们坚持不懈，因为我们没有准备好放手，但我们很少使用或享受以防万一我们保留的东西。在衣柜后面看，在垃圾抽屉里，在水槽或车库或阁楼的盒子里，很明显，只是意味着永远不会。以防万一不仅适用于我们家中的混乱和东西。你的生活中还有什么，你正在担心恐惧？当我开始放弃我的时候以防万一杂乱，小恐惧随之而来，让我们更容易放弃我生命的其他领域。
3. Apologize when you aren’t sorry.
Let’s stop apologizing for things we don’t need to be sorry for. It’s exhausting and often a quiet reminder that we aren’t good enough. Here are我们不需要为此道歉的8件事even though it’s normal. We can be kind and loving without being sorry. Our hearts deserve that.
4.解释你的决定不喝酒。
该re are some things that are only your business. Why you choose not to drink falls into this category. However, it’s normal for people to think that when you aren’t drinking alcohol, you have to tell everyone why. When you decline a drink, they may wonder, and often ask out loud one or more of the following questions …
- 你怀孕了吗？
- Don’t you want to have fun?
- 你有酒精的问题吗？
- 你节食了吗？
- What’s wrong with you?
即使您不需要在某种程度上解释自己，在某些情况下，“这不是您的事。”或者“这个问题不合适。”是正确的回应。这是另一个，不那么对抗的方法。梅丽莎城市建议，“我不喝酒right now.” She says in thisInstagram帖子, “Perhaps “I don’t drink” is strong enough to make others feel defensive about their own behaviors, while my response comes off as less confrontational. (I’m not drinking “right now,” which means I have before, and I might later = less threatening.)” She goes on to say, “for those trying to protect your own sobriety, or in situation where you just don’t want to be questioned… steal my line. Speak it confidently, excitedly, like it’s a cool experiment you are conducting. (Because it is, whether it lasts 30 days or a lifetime). For whatever reason, it puts people less on edge. Take advantage if you need it.”
5. Get burned out and run down.
这不是世界的正常方式吗？我试过一次，它根本没有工作。正常意味着竞争和比较，永远不会停止。它让我真的生病了. If you are on this path, consider a change. Ask yourself why you are so busy. Ask yourself what you are trying to prove or accomplish. Ask yourself if you are running at an unsustainable pace, and question how this path or approach is serving you, your health and your family. As yourself if there is a better way. If the normal way isn’t working, maybe this is your wake up call.
6.讨厌你的工作。
根据最近的盖洛普报告，70％的美国工人没有参与他们的工作。这是一个很好的迹象，不享受你的工作，甚至讨厌你的工作是正常的。如果您是70％中的一个，请考虑这一点.
7.对他人感到失望。
For the most part, the reason we are disappointed by others is because they won’t give us what we want or what we think we need. They fail to meet我们的期望。但是，如果代替，我们会丢弃我们的期望，并给了自己需要的东西？看看你认为人们如何让你失望。如果你没有从其他人那里得到足够的爱和善意，那么你如何在生活中创造更多的爱和善意？如果您没有得到欣赏并支持您的支持，您可以做些什么来培养更多的升值和在生活中的支持？提示：当你放弃时，它就会回到你身边。
You can still express your wants and needs and then you can fulfill those expectations. Then you can enjoy and appreciate the people you surround yourself with for who they are instead of what they do for you.
8. Be dismissive of change.
如果我有一美元为每个人告诉我,“easier said than done,” I’d have a bunch of dollars. When we think “easier said than done” we dismiss the idea of change for ourselves. We struggle to consider what it might take to change. We are afraid to hope for something better. We don’t believe we have what it takes. That’s normal. Instead of being normal,迈出一小步.
我不知道谁决定正常是重要的。我很高兴这些正常的事情不是我生命中的一部分。他们可能不适用于你，但如果你是我的任何东西，他们中的许多人都这样做。当你决定不必正常时，你不必辜负他人的期望，那么你会得到你的生命。
P.S. The Soulful Simplicity Course is coming back in September! If you want to spend six weeks not being normal with me,在这里注册以了解更多信息.
